We, apparently, want to be Dorian Grey. Perhaps not (exclusively) in the sense that we want to engage in deeper, thicker, and more debauched behavior in the most exotic of ways, but in the sense that we have started lamenting over youth before having lost it.
Everything in our culture is being pushed younger and younger. There used to be a set of problems that were “adult” issues. Things that kids were sheltered from and taught when they were old enough to understand and be able to cope with them. Childhood problems should mean trouble with multiplication, with finding good friends with whom to play, and with sibling rivalries. This isn’t to say that a child’s life is or ought to be an idyllic playground waltz, but I think we can admit that there is something amiss when the young are almost universally forced to wrestle with problems over relationships, addictions, and crime. Children are exposed to pain, divorce, sexuality, temptation, and a host of issues that can tear apart parents’ lives. Growing up is tumultuous … but it ought not be torturous.
In the media, coming of age stories are all the rage. (Juno, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Youth in Revolt, etc.) There is such a push about “growing up” that it is a type of “midlife crisis” to deal with college. High school may be the end of an era, but it is more of an introduction than a conclusion.
It is a strange thing that our culture has come to worship one of the most fleeting of temporal phases … I can’t even call it a virtue. Celebrities try to look younger and younger. Youth is taking greater and greater responsibility and perceived importance. Going out in a flame of glory is beautiful; the slow fade is tragic. Have you ever noticed the progression of starlets in pop culture? A young and raw talent is discovered, rises meteorically, pushes the bounds of propriety (sex, drugs, or whatever “indiscretion,”) and is left years later to pursue rehabilitation, petty fame, or that self same slow fade. Our culture loves stars that are young, enjoys the drama when they err, and discards them for the next fresh thing.
As our idols age and seek to be young, our children are confronted with trials that – however inevitable – were once reserved for those with the maturity and tools ready to face them. I wonder how many people would jump at the chance to have a portrait that ages for them. Longevity doesn’t cut it. Immortality isn’t even good enough. Immortal youth is the goal.
I guess the conclusion is that I want to be old. Perhaps more accurately, I want to grow old. Youth is something to be enjoyed now and cherished later. It is not something to be desperately clung to now and artificially preserved later. That kind of cloying is simply another form of greediness and forlornness when there is so much to be loved and valued in whatever season of life. I’m sure it’s easy for me to say now – in the midst of youth – that is actually much harder in the application later on. That fact, however, does not diminish the truth of that commitment. If anything, it adds to it.
There are people who indeed want to stay young forever. Simon Cowell — who wants to cryogenically freeze himself; Madonna — who takes on young lovers; Tara Reid, Joan Rivers, John Travolta — with their various plastic surgeries and hair pieces… It’s not so much reveling in youth as it is trying to live forever — amortality. Being unable to age.
Everything in our culture that is directed towards younger and younger audiences is a shame. But at the same time, you can’t be so generalized — these generations, with all their toys and “adult” issues, are no different than any other generation. The emotions and situations are still the same. You don’t think that little kids in the 1920s had parents that got divorced? Or that young children were drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes? Working 14 hour days in factories? Jerking off in bathroom stalls? They were just as debauched and horny overburdened as kids are today (granted, the media didn’t necessarily direct their attention towards “tweens” — there was no such thing as Twilight or Avatar or Bratz, or whatever).
As for these starlets that you mention — they’re just as f—ed up as anyone else, except they have one more problem: their lives are the object of universal speculation. They can’t be f—ed up in private, like the rest of us can. They have to be f—ed up in front of the public, who scrutinizes them to no degree. I’m not trying to defend the Lindsey Lohan’s or the Britney Spears’ types — but c’mon! Fame is a tricky horse to ride. And do you really think that going out in a flame of glory is beautiful, or are you just being overly sarcastic? This whole paragraph on celebrity is overly generalized. I dare you to get famous and not let it go to your head.
You don’t want to be old. You want to be older. No one wants to be old. Old people don’t want to be old. It sucks. If you’re unfortunate enough to live the long and prosperous life, you regress to a point where you’re no different than a baby. It’s depressing and frustrating being old. The other thing you dismiss is that “youth” is extended as the life expectancy grows. 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30… You will be young for a long time. The human body is capable of outstanding feats.
Wow.
I think this is my favorite post you’ve done. … [second to wonder]
Just thought I’d put that thought out there…I want to discuss this with you sometime.
@ducasse:
You’re quite right on the point about previous generations. I don’t want to pretend that our forefather’s had it all peachy without having to deal with any of these problems we face today.
What I am critiquing is the treatment of those issues today by the media and other influencers such that youth are forced to engage on a level that they ought not to.
Should these problems be glossed over as if they don’t exist? No. Should they be surveyed fully and even gloried in? That, despite general culture’s answer to the contrary, ought to be “no” as well.
@Kately:
Thanks. I’m sure we’ll connect about it as soon as you’re not quite so busy. :-)
@ducasse: “If you’re unfortunate enough to live the long and prosperous life…”
Seriously? I should BE so unfortunate! :-D
What Matt didn’t discuss (Maybe Matt can do a follow-up on this very subject? ;-)) was the flipside of this “fountain of youth” mentality – the fear/loathing of being old. Now that “new is better,” old must be worse. And that includes people, to our culture’s shame. No longer are the aging parents honored and cared for at home; they’re considered a problem to be dealt with and shipped away to a place where they can die among strangers. No longer is their advice heeded; their opinions must be archaic and outdated. After all, they’re old, aren’t they?
This flies directly in the face of Biblical teaching, which views gray hair, children, and inheritances as not only righteous, but desirable.
@pops
“facetious” is all i have to say. spock said, “live long and prosper.” but no one really wants to be at that point where their body has failed them, where they can’t function. what is prosperous about alzheimer’s?