Self-examination is – to be frank – odd. There is a strange feedback effect then you loop back around and examine your own self. It is also something that can be quite difficult. How often can we so clearly and cuttingly define the faults in another while simultaneously dismissing those exact faults in our own character? Here at Willamette I occasionally get to see people who are becoming more and more aware of who they are as a unique human being.
When growing up in a certain familiar context we aren’t always aware of idiosyncrasies and differences. When you are suddenly thrust into the Willamette community, certain parts that you took for granted seem to fit in very different ways. I’ve noticed that there are some people here who come to an awareness of themselves for what seems like the first time.
Some guys realize that they are funny and try harder to make people laugh. Some girls realize that they are pretty and try to accentuate that trait. Some people realize that they are smart (or smarter) and try to leverage that. It is a period of trial and error. Sometimes they try too hard; sometimes they sell themselves short. Whatever new things college students start to learn about themselves, there is nothing new about the struggles and balances that come next.
The people that seem to be happiest are the ones that are able to focus on some thing outside themselves. It’s obvious even in the way that they talk. There is something that they see as greater than themselves. It can be other people in general, a cause, a passion, or a religion that encompasses all of the above. I can almost categorically assert that the people that I most enjoy hanging out with are the ones that are not unduly selfish, prideful, and “aware” of their own good qualities. Rather, people that are able to focus on something outside themselves seem not only more happy but also more grounded in being able to relate to other people.
The point? Selfishness is not equal with happiness. Humility is when you are able to focus on others. If you can have vision enough to see beyond your own interests and self to recognize the unique interests and personalities of others, it seems that it is the perspective that allows the most of happiness and meaning.
When your vision only allows for your self, the universe is small by comparison. I guess I’d just prefer to interact with people that can see me … with people whose egos allow me to fit into the room … with people who are aware of who they are and aware of other people.