We’ve all done it. When we are asked the question, “How are you doing?” I will often enough respond with an exposition on what I am doing. We seem to think the most important part of our lives is what we are doing instead of who we are, how we are, or even what we are becoming.
That’s not to say what you do is or is not important. If you’re passionate about what you do, so much the better. The problem is one of definition. The definition of who we are ought to extend beyond what we do. Perhaps even more accurately, it’s a point of hierarchy. What we do ought to be an extension of who we are … rather than who we are as an extension of what we do.
To be sure, there’s a part of us that will always be contextualized in our life. I firmly believe that being mindful of one’s context is decidedly important. But it’s also important to keep in mind the parts of you that stay no matter where you are or what you do. I was an intern, a farmhand, a cashier, and student. These experiences have impacted and influenced me … but never should define me. Sometimes that’s hard (once an intern, always an intern) but the things that determine what I think, feel, dream, and do extend far more fundamentally than a means of income or career.
How we define ourselves with others and even more internally – how we define our self to our self – has always extended beyond our current activity. Put another way, all that you have in common with another person should not be what you do when you are together. A relationship built on the building of model airplanes (for example) is not much in the way of a solid foundation. Much in the same way, your tastes, desires, passions, pursuits, and personality should not be molded and modeled after a preconceived idea.
Without such definition, externally and internally, it’s much harder to remember what really is important. It is the mistaking of style for substance.
If you want to be a writer, write. It’s not a matter of dress, posture, taste, or habit. If you want to be a college student, do so. It’s not a matter of dress, posture, taste, or habit. If you want to be anything, there is a way that is consistent with that pursuit and your self … and a way that is more like an imperfect photocopy. It is reminiscent of the actual thing, but too grainy to do anything more than hearken to its truer form.
You are not defined by what you do. The fullest expression of who you are is not found in the outward trappings of an archetype, but in the careful and considered investigation of what you care about. Do what you like, but be something beyond what you do. After you’ve mastered that, be sure to tell me how. This is more a lifelong process than a to-do item … much like all the important bits of life.