It seems natural enough that our culture values authenticity and genuineness above deception and pretending. We prefer people to be “real” with us, rather than pretending to be something they are not. We dislike people who wear one “mask” with a certain group of people and another mask with others. But this valuing of reality above perceived pretending is almost too simple of an approach to the question of life.
We are all pretending. There is a dynamic tension between growth and genuineness, between substance and the form of substance, between possession of an attribute and pretending to have it. We equate masks with deception. But oftentimes, a mask is something that ought to be equated with growth. We can wear a mask so long that we become like it underneath.
There are watermelon farmers that have found that by allowing the fruit to grow into a square glass container, the melon will naturally fit the space given to it. The square, stackable watermelons are often twice as expensive as the usual ones, but the practices of agriculture and capitalism are not the point here. We grow into shapes as well. We are watermelon people, and as such have to be very conscious of what we are growing into.
You’ve probably heard this concept before as “fake it until you make it.” It seems counter-intuitive, but how can you gain an attribute or characteristic without acting like you have it already? Let’s say you need to practice delegating your responsibility or listening to other people or being less busy. You can try to break such skills down into manageable chunks, but at some point you are acting contrary to the “real” or practiced you. You are trying to fiat a new habit. Put another way, there is a different between pretending to gloss over an absence of a habit and pretending in order to gain that habit.
So the question isn’t so much what we will find at the deepest core of our personality. It’s an interesting and often worthwhile study to introspect in such a way. When dig deep enough to discover the unexposed raw core of self, what do you see? What can you see? But just as important is a discovery of what masks you are choosing to wear.
So, it seems that we are forced, for better or for worse, to wear masks until we have faces that have grown into them. As such, it is absolutely vital to know what masks we are trying to wear in the different contexts of our lives. Our habits, choices, and perspectives can help to mold us into something great or into something small and unfortunately twisted.
It seems that our love/hate relationship with masks encompasses how we have to live this life. We need to pretend in order to grow. But pretending by itself isn’t enough. Perhaps, at the risk of meshing analogies, masks are the seeds that allow us to grow into the things we are trying to become. Know what you are trying to become.
Originally published in the Willamette Collegian.