One of my most recent undertakings has been to read Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. This has been on my to-do list for months, and it is embarrassing how many times I’ve checked the book out from the library, not been able to read it, re-checked it out, had to return it, checked and re-checked it again. I finally was able to start it during Thanksgiving, and it has captivated me. During every spare minute I want to return to this novel, to feel more of the emotions that Anna, Levin, Vronsky, Kitty, or Alexei feel. To enter into their worlds as Tolstoy beautifully and painfully paints them. It has been a fascinating read, but this particular paragraph arrested my thinking for quite some time. One of the main characters has just been visited by his dying brother; speaking of this character, Tolstoy writes …
“He saw either death or the approach of it everywhere … He had to live his life to the end, until death came. Darkness covered everything for him; but precisely because of this darkness he felt that his undertaking was the only guiding thread in this darkness, and he seized it and held on to it with all his remaining strength.”
I paused to think not only because it was the end of the chapter, but because I was struck by the profundity of the thought. Death is everywhere … darkness covers everything … one undertaking provides light and guidance, so he pursues that.
And I was reminded once again that darkness is often all around us. Death is everywhere present. But as Christians, we all have been given light, and have been born into light. We may not always see all of it as we wander through dark valleys or over misty terrain, but as long as we’re moving forward, the darkness has nothing on us. We are more than conquerors if we take what we know to do – whatever our current undertaking may be – and move in that knowledge, revelation, and light.
It reminded me to live with eternity in mind. Knowing that death and darkness surround me motivates me to truly live each day that is given to me, and to do the things I know to do … while I still have life.
The light and life that we have are beautiful gifts. By using them, we penetrate the darkness.